July 8, 2024

Divorced, Yet Unbroken

Refuse to be a victim, and that’s not a denial picture, but a growth mindset.

No one plans for marriage to end in divorce, or do they? “Evil exists, this is evil!” Yes, my dear friend, life’s tapestry weaves threads of pain, strength, brokenness, and resilience. Among them is a tale of courage and redemption, of being divorced but not a victim. This story is often hidden behind veils of shame and judgment, but today, we bring it to light, highlighting women who have turned their pain into power and their scars into stars. Women like the voice beneath these words of comfort and encouragement.

Imagine a woman, her heart shattered by divorce, her dreams scattered like leaves in the wind. Society may see her as damaged goods, but in the eyes of her Creator, she’s a masterpiece in the making, destined for remarkable achievements. You are a masterpiece in the hands of God.

Then there’s Rachel, (Gen 30:23) whose name was tarnished by polygamy, childlessness, and depression, yet she refused to let others define her worth. Turning to her faith, she found solace and acceptance, becoming a beacon of light for others in similar situations.

And Leah, (Gen 30:20) enduring betrayal and heartache, discovered her true worth in the love of her Heavenly Father. Through her pain, she found a voice and purpose, offering hope to those trapped in cycles of shame.

These women, and countless others, are living proof of faith, resilience, and being divorced, heartbroken, and betrayed but not victims. They show that a stained past doesn’t define you, and a broken heart doesn’t have the final say.

To you, dear friend, who’s felt the sting of divorce and carried the weight of judgment and shame, know this: you’re not victims but warriors, chosen vessels of God, crafted for a purpose beyond imagination.

Your story is one of triumph, not defeat. Your journey is one of hope, not despair. As you walk through the fire and emerge stronger, remember that you are clothed in strength and dignity, and your future is as bright as God’s promises.

Psalms 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” These words were my strength during divorce. Healing is a process, but you’ll emerge stronger and wiser with faith and perseverance.

Embracing healing after divorce requires courage, self-love, and belief in brighter days ahead.

Here are ten steps to guide you on your healing journey:
1. Reflect on lessons learned.
2. Seek support.
3. Prioritize self-care.
4. Forgive yourself and your ex-partner.
5. Set healthy boundaries.
6. Rediscover your passions.
7. Embrace change.
8. Practice gratitude.
9. Draw strength from faith.
10. Seek inspiration from others’ stories.
Healing takes time, but embracing empowerment and self-love can transform divorce into personal growth.

Like the phoenix rising from ashes, you’ll emerge stronger, wiser, and ready for the next chapter of your life. Divorced, not a victim, but a victor. Let that be your anthem to rise, thrive, and shine with a radiance that can never be dimmed.

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I'm Mo’Tolani Abike

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Podcaster, Author, Digital Marketer, Educator, Dreamer, Mother and #1 Most Curious Human (Really). I'm glad you're here. Now let's get to work.



Mo’Tolani Abike